I have been known to meditate on the perfection that is a bowl of pasta. I usually refrain from disclosing this revelation on my inner workings as, it quite frankly sounds more than a little crazy, but, hey, crazy is as crazy does I guess. However, serious times require serious responses. On a recent shopping trip to the hell that is the local supermarket, I ran into some friends I hadn’t seen for a while, so we pulled over and had a chat. I saw in my friends, potential Pastafarian converts and I mentioned that I thought I had the perfect religion for them – ‘Pastafarianism.’ The reaction? ‘Pasta what?’ fair enough. Before I could edify her on the wonder that is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (blessed be Glob forever) she informed me that she hates pasta, can’t stand it even. I pointed out that she didn’t have to eat it, but to be frank I was so shocked at the idea that someone could hate the holy food that much that it left me quite speechless.
It had never occurred to me that someone could actually hate pasta, after all, what’s there to hate? Pasta itself doesn’t really taste of anything much. Like a pizza topping, there may be particular pasta dishes you don’t like, so just try a different sauce for example. I can’t help but to think that people who hate pasta simply haven’t had good pasta. Maybe it is the abomination that is tinned spaghetti that is responsible, or maybe this is a drawback of having a food-based deity? Whatever it is, it is an evil that Pastafarianism must stand up against and take head on!
Food has been closely connected with religion and ritual for a long time, possibly since a woman in a garden was tricked into eating a piece of fruit by a talking snake. Food is good. We like food, it doesn’t just feed our bodies but can feed our souls as well. The Japanese tea ceremony, the Eucharist and even birthday cake can come into this category – food that means more than the sum of its parts, food for ritual.
But back to pasta. I believe that pasta comes second only to bread as being the most widely consumed and widely used food in the world. It covers everything from instant noodles to lasagne, wontons to cannelloni. It’s flat, round, fat, thin, stuffed, sauced, served hot or cold in any form from a terrine to a dessert. It is one of the planets most versatile foods. So, for anyone to say that they hate pasta, it means they simply haven’t eaten enough of it. If the Flying Spaghetti Monster deity did not exist, we would have to make it up to give thanks for this wonder of human creativity that is pasta, in all it’s glorious forms!
Ramen!
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster 